I'M SORRY YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME MORE

I'm sorry you didn't love me more.  
I know how desperately I loved you. Few people have experienced being loved that way. Being loved that fully. To be loved just for being. That's the way I loved you.  You know that. You felt it. You found your home in my love...for a while.  

I'm sorry you didn't love me more than you loved other people and other things because then you would have been that rare human walking through life having found what humans search for. I am what you were and are looking for.  My love. For you.  It is intense. It is light in the darkness.  It causes you to be fully alive.  It is what you are seeking.  

I'm sorry you didn't love me more because I am the one who really knows you. Who really saw you.  Who truly understood your heart, your broken places and your strengths. I saw the reason for your weakness and they never made me love you less. I wanted you to be the you that our Father created you to be when He created you.

I'm sorry that you didn't love me more because then your commitment to me would have caused you to make changes in your life.  You would have found a place for me in your life, pushing other people and other things away so that I could be in your life. In your heart.  

I'm sorry that you didn't love me more because then you would have understood the heart of love.  It never changes. It never stops.  It remains.  Time has not diminished that love you so freely dismissed.  Because I know you, I know you wonder if the weeks, the months, the years, the decades since you foolishly believed you could live without my love have caused me to forget you...have caused me to love you less...They have not.  I love you the way I loved you the first moment you knew that I loved you.

I'm sorry you didn't love me more because the kind of love I offered is not demanding, doesn't want it's own way...  And if you wanted to leave.. if you wanted to stay committed to other people.. other things....I could never have forced you to stay. Despite all I could have done.. I could never had demanded that you love me the way I love you.  

I'm sorry that you didn't love me more because I have to watch in desperation as you continue to search for what you already had. In me. In my heart.  .

I'm not telling you these things to make you feel bad.  

The real issue is not the way I feel about you.
But the way you feel about me. 

I'm sorry you didn't love me more.
Are you?

"I have loved you with an everlasting love"