Years ago, exactly one month before my birthday, I had to borrow my husband's car. I was having lunch with one of my editors in downtown Nashville. I don't remember WHY I was using his car, and he was using mine that day. Because I am significantly shorter than my husband, when I got in the driver's seat I had to pull it forward all the way so that I could reach the peddles.
When we arrived at the restaurant, I glanced in the car as I locked it and saw a white box. About the size of a box you might put your wife's birthday gift in. It must have been hidden under the driver's seat and when I pulled it forward, it was uncovered.
The right thing to do would have been to ignore the box. The wrong thing to do would have been to unlock the car, grab the box, open it, and see a necklace inside that I had been looking at every time we went to the mall. The really evil thing to do would be to take the necklace out, and wear it.
I did the wrong and evil thing. I am ashamed.
My friend looked at me in disbelief.
What can I say?
On the way home, I called my husband to tell him I was on my way home. I started to talk about my birthday and how excited I was that it was just a month away. He said, "You found the necklace, didn't you? I thought about it being there after you left. I forgot to take it out."
I confessed to finding it and to wearing it.
"YOU TOOK IT OUT AND WORE IT???"
"Yes."
When I got home that day, he went out to the car and retrieved it from where I had tried to re-hide it.
He handed it to me and said,
"Happy Birthday"... but it wasn't the same. I have no idea what plans he had in his heart for that gift to be given to me. I have no idea what he wanted to say when he gave it to me. I will never know. Never know what might have been if I had just waited for Phil's plan to unfold. Every time I wear that necklace I remember how I messed up the love behind it by being impatient. I still got the necklace, but not the way Phil wanted me to have it.
Psalm 106 talks about God's chosen people. It talks about the amazing things He did for them. And it speaks about how they "soon forgot what he had done and DID NOT WAIT FOR HIS PLAN TO UNFOLD." (v. 13).
I want mostly good things in life. I want good everything. And when something isn't perfect, I get impatient waiting for the gift of God's mercy and grace and kindness to me. When something is bad, or difficult,or crushing me... I want to help God. I take matters in to my own hands.
Forgetting that God has a plan. God has The Plan.
And sometimes I have to WAIT for it.
Psalms 106 and 107 talk about people who find themselves in messes.
People who took things in to their own hands.
People who did not WAIT to see God's plan unfold.
In fear or frustration they did what they thought should be done.
Even so, there is hope for those of us who do not wait. Those of us who mess up The Plan. It happens if we humble ourselves and CRY OUT TO HIM. "GOD, HELP!! HELP!!"
He hears. He helps. He rescues. He loves. We may ignore His promises to us. But He never does.
"He took note of their distress when he heard their cry; for their sake he remembered his covenant and out of his great love he relented."
Psalm 106:44-45
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