Tuesday, August 25, 2015

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAY. WELL, YES IT IS


(The following is an excerpt from "How To Make A Meatball - Recipes For Living My Mother Taught Me") 
Perfect In Every Way
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs,
that it may benefit those who listen.”
   Ephesians 4:29

            It seems to me that my mother learned very early in life that the most loving way to show your love is in the way you use — or don’t use — your words. The words “unwholesome talk” in the verse above means more than “don’t use four letter curse words.” An expanded definition of the word “unwholesome” is  rotten, corrupted, no longer fit for use, worn out, poor quality, bad, unfit for use, worthless(Strong’s). A word doesn’t have to be a curse word for it to be unwholesome. It could simply be a rotten thing to say like, “You’re just like your lazy father” or a worthless thing to say like, “You’re never going to amount to anything!” It could be a worn out sentence like, “Dear God, please help me deal with these annoying children” or a poor quality sentence like, “We’re poor. Get used to it.” Tragically, these are actual sentences that actual moms have actually uttered to their actual children that I have actually heard. That verse begins with telling us how we should not talk, and ends with telling us how we should: only what is helpful for building others up, according to their needs. My mother found the way to tell me what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it. If I needed encouragement, that’s what she spoke. If I needed correction, that’s what she spoke. If I needed spiritual exhortation, that’s what I heard. The key is that she knew me. She spent time knowing who I was, what kind of heart I have and what it needed at the moment. Her words always reinforced her love.

“Gracious words promote instruction. Gracious words are a honeycomb,
sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”
   Proverbs 16:21; 24

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