I should have thought about it before that day, but I didn't. And just like that, my son, Philip, could not be deterred from the electrical outlets. I was trying to get us both dressed and out the door to go buy those covers, but every time I turned around, he was toddling over to the electricity.
I said "NO!" and he looked at me with his great big baby brown eyes, and just went right back to the new center of his universe. So I slapped his little chubby hand and said, "NO!" and put him in his high chair. HE WAS NOT HAPPY WITH MOMMY! The tears and crying were immediate. The look on his face was heartbreaking. Mom had turned in to a meanie. I can STILL SEE the humongous tears that flowed down his face. I love my son. Beyond love. I felt bad that he thought I was just being mean and keeping him from doing something he was enjoying.
And so I blurted out, "Philip, I wish you were old enough to understand what electricity is.. and what it does to people. I wish you could understand... I want to explain but you cannot understand yet..."
AND JUST LIKE THAT A LIGHT went on in my heart.
I was in my twenties. I loved God, but didn't understand some of the things He was allowing and not allowing in my life. I'd had a sort of "attitude" with Him lately. Doubting His goodness. Thinking He had it in for me.
And as I spoke to my son, I saw myself.
Demanding to understand things that were beyond my understanding.
And not really knowing, or trusting, God.
He wanted to explain.. but.... I was too immature to understand.
My son didn't understand what electricity was, didn't even know he was a human being and that humans can be electrocuted.
He just wanted what he wanted when he wanted it.
Just like his mommy.
Now he's a grown man. Married with children.
I can tell you with great certainty that he no longer wishes to play with - or stick things in to - electrical outlets. He has grown in maturity. NOW he understands...though he certainly does not remember.. the day Mom saved his life by keeping him from being electrocuted.
Just because we go through confusing times..
times that seem to make no sense...doesn't mean God is mean. It means that God's love for us can be beyond our comprehension. It means that God can see our future and we cannot.
Sometimes... there are just some things that a baby will never be able to comprehend. It is maturity that caused my son to stop caring about electrical outlets. It was love that caused me to keep him from them.
"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."