"THIS IS GOD. LEAVE A MESSAGE."

Have you ever felt like you're getting God's voice mail when you pray?  In your brain you know that He loves you, and He cares about you, and that He will hear you when you call, but... truth is.. lately....He isn't exactly answering His cell phone when you call. In your heart, you wonder if He's ignoring you. No? You've never felt that way?  Good for you. I have had times when it seemed like God was busy doing other stuff for other people and my stuff for me wasn't really getting His attention.   I use the words "seemed like" because He is always listening. Always.To you. And me.

Furthermore.......(drum roll)... He is doing more than listening to my words. He hears my thoughts and yours too.  Psalm 139:4 says, "Before a word is on my tongue, you Lord, know it completely."  In the one millionth of a second from the time I think something until I actually say it, He already knows exactly what I'm going to say and exactly why I'm saying it.  He is THAT CLOSE to us.  Another verse in another Psalm got my attention this morning.  Psalm 94:11 says "The Lord knows people's thoughts..."   He knows what we are THINKING.  Hello. Nothing is hidden from Him. Not even my thoughts. UHHH-OHHH.

Earlier in the same Psalm, the writer is complaining to God about how He's running the earth. Wondering why He is allowing the wicked to gloat. Wondering why their arrogance and boasting is not getting His attention. He tells God what these people are thinking, ""The Lord isn't looking, they say, and besides the God of Israel doesn't care." (v.7)

And then he kind of reminds himself that, oh yes, God knows what they are actually thinking. Just like he knows what I am thinking.  Doubts about God's ways come to every one of us every now and then.  If you are confused by God and what He's allowing in the world, or in your life, He isn't mad at you for having those doubts.  In light of how dark the world has become, we can think our prayers are hitting His voice mail. 
But that isn't truth.
What does God do when we, His children, have doubts filling the inner recesses of our minds?  What does He do when we, like the writer of Psalm 94, wonder why He is allowing proud and arrogant people to prosper.. seemingly.... and to crush His own people? 
HE COMFORTS US.  I cannot hide my doubts from the One who knows my thoughts. And yours.  If we will allow Him, He will give us the renewed hope we need to get through a seemingly hopeless planet.  He knows what He's doing. Even when we don't.  

"When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer." 

Psalm 94:19

Thank you, Father. 

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WANTED: SMOLDERING WICKS

I can relate to feeling like a smoldering wick with just a hint of the fire that used to burn bright. I know what it's like to remember that fire as if it actually happened to somebody else and not me. I am familiar with the sensation of being a bruised and broken reed.  Too, too familiar.
  
Yes. It's true. It has happened to me more than once in my lifetime. There comes a season when you cannot take another hit. You cannot endure another betrayal. You lose your breath to think of surviving another loss. I've been there. Done that.

It doesn't matter, really, what people say to you to encourage you through the season because it isn't what other people are saying to you, but what you are saying to yourself. You assume that you will not be useful to anyone, anywhere, anymore.  You are convinced that your best days are probably behind you.  The identity you used to have - and the identity you had to the world - has taken a huge hit. For whatever reason.  You feel like a failure of the faith you professed.  It happens. To lots of good-hearted people who tried to follow close in the steps of Jesus.

The problem with being a smoldering wick and bruised reed is that that is actually who and what you are.  You are bruised. You are broken. You are not really a wheat harvest prize. And the fire that used to burn hot and brightly through you (your wick) is barely there anymore.  You are different than you used to be. You are less than you used to be. This is the truth.

Been there. Done that. And so, almost two decades ago, as I was settling in to my new role as a less-than-I used-to-be follower of Jesus, I read this Scripture.  Matthew 12:20 says:

A bruised reed he will not break and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out,till he has brought justice through to victory."
The New Living Translation says it this way: He will not break a broken branch. He will not put out a little fire until He makes things right."

And like a lightening bolt..... like a flash of light invading my dark and despairing heart.. I saw the actual truth:

I was done with me in my present condition but Jesus wasn't. 

I was certain my best days were behind me but Jesus wasn't.

I was convinced I could not burn hot again but Jesus wasn't.

Jesus was still on the same path with me that He had always been on.  To make things right in my life. To bring justice in my life.  To bring victory in my life.

Truth is, Jesus does not despise broken people. He loves them. Jesus doesn't throw us away when our light gets weak. He still wants us. He still loves us. He still has wonderful victorious plans for us.  I gave Jesus my brokenness... and He made things right. 

Whenever we go to Him with our broken branches and our smoldering wick.. He continues to work out His plan for our lives.

I know that some of you reading this may feel like you've messed up too much.

That you are broken beyond repair.

That your light has gone out forever.

That is not the truth.

Jesus is not finished with you. So don't be finished with yourself.

His love can overlook your weaknesses.

He has the power to mend broken lives... and to bring that flame back to its white hot burn.

He loves you.

Please don't give up on yourself. 

Jesus never will.

WEIRD SEASON WARDROBE

Someday... I will see tulips again. Someday....I will see tulips again.
Someday....I will see tulips again.
We all will.  WHAT A WACKY WEIRD WINTER we've had. Tennessee is not supposed to have winters like we've had.

The good thing is knowing that unless the earth rotates off it's 23.5 degree axis we will have Spring and blooming flowers and warm weather in just a matter of weeks.  Right?  Right?  Right. 

When the seasons change, so does our wardrobe.  But FIRST the season changes and THEN our wardrobe follows.   

Almost twenty years ago, when we moved to Tennessee, I was in a new season in my life.  We were living in a brand new and beautiful house on acres of land in the beautiful and rolling hills of Tennessee...and yet I missed my older smaller house that we'd been living in 800 miles north.   I felt like I should be doing something MORE than just enjoying these blessings, enjoying my grandkids who live just a block away...   Most of all, my husband and I found ourselves not involved in full-time ministry for the first time in decades. It seemed strange to turn off that ministry machine motor that had been running at full speed inside of me. 

One day, I was speaking to the Lord about all this.  I felt unable to navigate this new and different season in my life.  And for one split second, I stopped talking long enough to allow His Spirit  to whisper something to me.  And I don't know about you but when the Holy Spirit speaks.. you understand a kazillion things in just one second.  And it's like He explained to me that the main way to adapt and thrive and survive in a new season is to  wear the wardrobe that goes with THAT season.  I was insisting on wearing my old wardrobe:  a pastor's wife, full-time ministry..... and here I was in a brand new season that He had ordained and allowed.

None of us can control the seasons.  With the weather... and with our lives.  They appear out of nowhere.. arriving on the wind...and suddenly the old season is gone.. and the new season is here.
I was in a NEW season.. insisting on wearing the wardrobe of the season I'd just come out of.

It's like He explained to me, "Marie, the heavy clothing you wear when you're outside in January -   BOOTS, COAT, SWEATER, HAT, GLOVES - will keep you alive IN JANUARY. But if you insist on wearing your January wardrobe in the middle of July..
the same wardrobe that kept you alive in January will kill you in July. And vice versa.

I can be guilty of wanting things to stay the same. Of wanting to do the same thing I've always done.  It feels secure.  It feels wise.  But it isn't wise to kill yourself with it.. to insist on not admitting that what I "wore" in the previous season isn't working in this new one.


Some seasons - like sickness, or financial fears, or family wars - become more difficult when we insist on yearning for the seasons when the weather was clear, and our skies were blue. That's wearing your old wardrobe.  God will give you everything you need to make it through this season.. if you will let him take off what you used to have.. what you used to be.. and trust Him to be faithful NOW.. in this season.

As it turns out... because I had time to think.. and pray.. and relax.. and revive inside...God opened new doors... to give me the desire of my heart.  Because the only thing I wanted to be MORE THAN a pastor's wife.. is a writer.  And

I is a writer.

Thanking God for new seasons and the wardrobe that goes with them.

GETTING THE GARDENIAS - 72 YEARS

It's been more than a few years now.. that the owner of the florist shop in our city here in Tennessee waits for me. Wondering if once again.. in January.. I will walk through the front door of the florist shop to order the gardenias.    

And when I do...she smiles with a look of relief, sorta, and says, "Another year?"  And I nod my head with joy and order the gardenias ( a wrist band, a corsage) for my father to give to my mother on their Wedding Anniversary - which is TODAY.. February 20th.  72 YEARS.

On February 20, 1943, my mother's bridal bouquet was filled with gardenias.  The smell of a gardenia always reminds her of her wedding day and makes her smile.  Since making her smile is one of my father's primary goals in life..every anniversary for the past seventy one years. my father made sure she got gardenias.  

Nowadays, he isn't able to drive anymore, but he still makes getting the gardenias his number one priority.  Starting in January he reminds me that February 20th is coming soon and I reassure him that I've got the gardenias ordered.   He makes sure we have the money to pay for them... The florist owner and workers have met them and love them (who doesn't?) and comment - as does almost everyone - how unusual it is for two people their age to still have one another.   It is unusual. It is A BLESSING.  

Later this morning, Phil and I will drive to the florist...pick up the gardenias... bring them to my parent's house.. and watch my saint of a father... hand the gardenia to my saint of a mother.. and she will say, "Ohhhh Honey... You got me gardenias????"  - as if this is the first time ever -  and hug him and kiss him and he will smile.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my parents.  Their lives are worthy of being honored.. and I honor them.

And while the family gathers to sing to them, watch them they blow out the candles on their 72 Anniversary cake, while we laugh and love and gather at their home as a family... my unspoken prayer will be  that next January.... I will once again walk through the door of the florist shop and place my father's order.  

Getting the gardenias again is all I really want.

I love you Dad.  I love you Mom.

WHAT I DO NOT KNOW

It's too bad for you that I didn't have this blog thirty or forty years ago.   Back then I knew everything.  True, I was a self-anointed know-it-all, but there was a part of me that was simply trying to help people get through life.  I thought I could help them.   I wanted to help others.  Sometimes I did. Sometimes I didn't.  As life has progressed, I have been faced with the reality that there are many, many things I do not know.  

 I DO NOT KNOW:

• ....the reason why the people who make the ketchup I buy insist on putting it in plastic  bottles that cannot be twisted open. 
• .....why some people do not feel guilty about getting on the "Fifteen Items Or Less" line at the supermarket with 900 items in their cart.
• ....why gas prices are $4.50 a gallon one week, and $1.99 a gallon one week later.
• ....God's purpose for chin hairs on post-menopausal women. 
• ....how you can love someone with real, deep love and they can walk away from you in an instant when you do - or don't do - what they want you to do or not do.
• ....how to explain to good and godly parents why they have endured the loss of a child.
• ....what is in another person's heart.
• ....why people are filled with such murderous hate toward others.

And this morning, I read the words God spoke to the prophet, Jeremiah.  Jeremiah didn't ASK to be God's prophet - He was TOLD he was God's prophet.  And because of this, the people hated and persecuted him.  

And so, in the middle of being held captive, and being mistreated by his own people, God speaks to Jeremiah and says, "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know."  (Jeremiah 33:3)

He DID NOT say to Jeremiah, "Call to me and I will answer all your questions about why I do what I do in your life."   No, God simply promised to tell Jeremiah WHAT HE DID NOT KNOW. 

I think sometimes, when I am in a valley season in life... I call to God.. because I believe He owes me an explanation for what He is allowing. 

But God is God and I am not.

And when I call to Him.... He will tell me what I do not know.
And maybe it isn't what I want to know.
It's always what I do not already know.

Maybe it's that I do not know.... HIM.

Maybe He reminds me of HIs vast and mighty power.

Maybe He fills me with His comfort that I have never known before.

And I pray that just like His promise to Jeremiah, His promise is to all of us:

IF we call to Him.

He will tell us what we do not know.  

And 

We do not know.......almost everything about God.

And whatever He tells me will be what I need to know.

And usually, I need to know... that He loves me and has not forgotten me.. and will not let go of me.... and will never leave me or forsake me. 

I call.

He answers.

And when He does, I know something I did not know before I called. 

Something He knows I need to know. 

SAVING YOUR SKIN

Who would have guessed that in 2015 one of the lead news stories would be about an outbreak of measles? People are running in terror from Mickey Mouse - because Disneyland is where the outbreak started. NOBODY WANTS TO CATCH THE MEASLES.

Reminds me of the story in Luke 17 about The Ten Lepers. These ten men were outside the city..banished from family, friends, their home, their jobs... because they had a skin disease.. leprosy....and nobody wanted to catch it.  Who can blame them? Who wants a hug so badly that they'd be willing to catch leprosy to have one? No one.

It's obvious that these lepers had heard about Jesus.  They called His Name, "JESUS!"  -  They used His title, "MASTER" - They knew what would heal them - "HAVE MERCY ON US!" 

He did have mercy. "Go show yourselves to the priests" he said. Jewish custom required that someone with a skin disease would only be allowed back in to society if the priest of the local synagogue declared them "clean."  As they walked.. as they did what Jesus told them to do.. they became clean. 

But yesterday I noticed something about this story that I had never noticed before:

JESUS EXPECTED ALL TEN OF THEM TO RETURN AND 

GIVE PRAISE AND THANKS TO GOD

He said, "Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine?" (verse 17)

Yesterday, this fact hit me for the first time, even though I've read this story hundreds of times.

BUT THIS IS NOT A SPIRITUAL ETIQUETTE WARNING STORY.  This is not a warning to "make sure you remember to say "thanks to God." Because truth is, the other nine remained cleansed.  Even without taking the time to thank God, to acknowledge the great and undeserving miraculous mercy Jesus had shown them...  He didn't say, "Well, if you're not gonna say 'thanks' then you're gonna get your leprosy back."  No, He cleansed them... and though they didn't take the time to give glory to God.. to thank Jesus....they stayed cleansed.

But I realized yesterday that main lesson of this story is not about what happened to the other nine because they didn't give glory to God - it's about what happened to the one who did.

When he saw he was healed - he came back to the One who had healed him. LOUDLY praising God. Falling at Jesus feet.  
Did he touch Jesus? Scripture doesn't say, but if he did, it was the first undefiled human he had touched in a while. 

And then Jesus said to this thankful man, "Rise up and go. Your faith has made you well."  Well? Wasn't he already well? Weren't the other nine well? Their faith had nothing to do with being cleansed - according to Scripture. It wasn't their faith that cleansed them.. it was MERCY. GOD'S MERCY.  
I thought, "So what's the deal with the one guy?  What did he gain more than the other nine for being thankful? For giving glory to God? Nothing?

So I studied the words.
And Jesus said that this thankful leper's faith had made him "WHOLE"  Get your concordance out.. if you want to.. but the word means something closer to "saved".. "saved from judgment".... The others nine were cleansed.

But the thankful guy was saved. Whole. Restored in every way. Spiritually. Physically. Emotionally. 

This thankful former leper, had shown himself to Jesus, the Great High Priest, and He declared this man cleansed and able to be restored to God's Kingdom. 
HIS FAITH - expressed in pure worship and thankfulness, acknowledging that mercy had cleansed him - saved him completely.

We are all lepers.  Banished from God and HIS KINGDOM. Some of us admit it. Some of us do not.  We are not in God's Kingdom because we are "good Christians" (a redundant phrase if there ever was one)... we are there because of MERCY. MERCY. MERCY.

And while many former lepers are just happy to have their outer lives looking clean again.....we read the Bible.. and if we do what it says... the principles in there will clean us up outwardly. 

But God wants more.  He doesn't want us to settle for Him saving our skin.. making our lives here better.. 

He wants us to be new INSIDE.

And so when He has mercy on us... and cleanses us.. He wants us to show ourselves to JESUS, OUR HIGH PRIEST.... acknowledging that God deserves the glory for our healing and restoration...  
and fully comprehending that our ONLY HOPE is JESUS..
He says.. "Get up and GO.. Your faith has TAKEN all your spiritual leprosy. YOU ARE COMPLETELY WHOLE." 

When we worship.
When we glorify God with our mouths. 
With our hearts.
With everything within us.
God does an inner work that cannot be explained.
Every time.
We aren't MORE SAVED.
WE are more HEALED.

FALL AT JESUS FEET.
LOUDLY thank Him.
With YOUR MOUTH give glory to GOD for what HE has done.
Instead of reminding Him of the stuff in your life that is difficult.
Or the stuff He still has NOT DONE 
THANK HIM.. WORSHIP HIM.. PRAISE HIM..
WITH YOUR MOUTH
for what He has done..
And..
you will uncover a cleansing INSIDE that cannot be explained.

For God, saving our skin is just the first step.
Making us whole is the whole plan.

LOVE YOU,
Thank you to so many of you who have signed up to receive this via email.
(Upper right corner of the page)
Marie

MY ALLERGY REALITY

My lungs had orchestrated yet another mutiny.  Once again I was having my yearly bronchitis challenge.   I knew the routine: doctor's office, pharmacy, medicine, rest and feel all better in a few days.  I was in my thirties and I was still under the egotistical delusion that the world could not run without me.  Because of that I thought the Universe at large was picking on me when it required me to slow down and get better. One year, things were not routine.  Two days after beginning my penicillin regimen I broke out in a rash.  My doctor suspected I may have developed an allergy to penicillin.  (This proved true a year later when I was prescribed a penicillin based medicine... and six hours later was in the emergency room with a fat tongue and closing throat.) 

This new and sudden allergy reality fascinates me to this day.  How could a medicine that had always HEALED me become a medicine that would KILL me?
I don't know about the cause.  I just know about the effect.  Penicillin worked in the past.
That was then. This was now.

It got me thinking about my actions as a Christian.  I want to be used as an instrument of peace and healing in God's hands.  I truly do. I always have.

But sometimes, I have been bull headed about just forging ahead with the medicine I had always used... not being willing to let God tell me that He wanted me to use a different and new approach for this particular person at this time.
 To offer a new prescription that would heal someone rather harm.

What's the purpose of medicine if it doesn't heal the patient?

So I'd just ram some Bible verses in to someone's brain...because I'd seen other people do that.. because that's what I thought they needed..because Scripture is what God often used to heal me...  when in truth, the medicine that would have truly healed some people would have been for me to be quiet and let them speak about their pain.  An honest hug would have healed more than a holy homily. 

I'm NOT advocating we should change the message. HEAVEN FORBID.
I'm just saying we should change the medicine to meet the patient's need.
Millions of people are healed every day by taking penicillin. But not me.
 
If you are someone who wonders WHY you just cannot get with the program, get up and get healed and get going, maybe you aren't getting the right medicine. 

• I pray for you that the Holy Spirit will send someone in to your life who is willing to be LIFE to you and not mere words.

• I pray that God Himself will speak to your heart to remind you that if you have put your trust in His Only Son, Jesus.. that YOU HAVE BECOME the VERY RIGHTEOUSNESS of Christ.  

• I pray that you will believe that God is CLOSE to the BROKENHEARTED and to those who are crushed in spirit.

• I pray you will search the Scripture for yourself - AND - that God will use to reveal His heart to you.

• I pray that you will understand that it isn't by chance that you are reading this, but that God has ordained it so that you will know that He sees you. He sees you. He sees you.  And He is going to heal you.  He is going to send the prescription you need to be healed.

Maybe we need to acknowledge the allergy reality.. that some people have grown allergic to the Church's tried and true methods.. and for those people we need to be the balm that heals them. Maybe meeting someone for a cup of coffee at Starbucks is the medicine they need instead of insisting they come to Weds night Bible study.  Does Weds Bible study help millions of people? Of course.  But it may not be the prescription for THAT person God has sent in to YOUR life.  Are we allowed to BE the church outside the Church building?  Can we help someone who is in pain and also miss a scheduled church service?  Remember how the Pharisees were more concerned about the day of the week that Jesus healed someone (The Sabbath) than they were about the fact that JESUS HEALED SOMEONE.

BE HEALING to someone who needs JESUS.
Jesus is the only way to be healed.
It takes time.
It takes prayer.
It takes love.

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of talk but of power. 

1 Corinthians 4:20