SENIOR CITIZENS AND THE HOLIDAY SEASON

The holiday season is upon us.. YIPPEE!!

Sometimes the season is not as bright as it used to be for seniors.

Sometimes our beloved spouse is no longer here.

Sometimes our kids don't include us in their lives like they used to do.

Sometimes we don't feel as good as we used to.

And then, they moved the celebration. 

It's a big deal for our grandkids. So we go to their house.

Some of us like this change and others of us resent it.

Our children are not longer focused on us. 

It's a part of life. 

It's a part of getting older. 

They have jobs to focus on, and their spouses and children.

They have friends.

They love you.  BUT THEIR LIFE IS MORE COMPLICATED.

One word of advice:  Don't complain. About anything. 

WHATEVER you are feeling during this season, ask God to help you.

He's the Only One who can.  

Tell Him how you feel.

I don't know how He will help you, but I KNOW HE WILL.

Merry Christmas!!

YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME

 

That little kid can't speak yet, but you can read his mind, "I AM NOT LISTENING TO YOU!" and "YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME" It's sorta cute - that tough and independent spirit.  Although he IS cute -  He has that attitude because he is very uninformed.  I might say he is ignorant.

He looks at this woman (or man)  who is nice enough to give him food and change his diapers and hug and comfort him if he gets a boo-boo.  He likes that part..  

But when she starts bossing him around - telling him to stop biting someone, or insisting he eat his food, and when she does annoying things like forbidding him to chew on the electrical wire connected to a lamp -she has crossed the line.  At least to him she has.

THE PROBLEM IS THAT HE IS CONVINCED OF HIS NEED OF NO ONE.    He is dead wrong.  In reality, SHE IS THE BOSS OF HIM. He refuses to accept her position in his life or the guidelines she requires.

The Bible describes it as the spirit of lawlessness.

It will be more and more the way society is the closer we get to the end of the age.  We are close.

Lawlessness doesn't mean only breaking the law. 

 

Lawlessness is an attitude which says, "How dare think you have the right to give me laws to follow?  I don't like rules."

Are you like the baby in the picture? 

Do you clench your fist at God with an attitude that says, "YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF ME BUT Y0U CANNOT BOSS ME AROUND!" 

Don't give me rules.

Give me love, give me blessing, but don't you dare expect me to find out what pleases You.   I will do what pleases me, not You. 

I will do what I want to do when I want to do it.

I will not love others.  I will not forgive.  I will not give up my sexual immorality. I will not stop getting drunk.  I will not lay down my bitter spirit.  I will not stop stealing,  and lying.  I will not do it."

YOU CAN TELL GOD HE IS NOT THE BOSS OF YOU A MILLION TIMES A DAY - BUT HE IS.

YOU MAKE DECIDE HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU ACKNOWLEDGING THAT HE IS - BUT HE DOES.

It just makes you look as silly as that baby in the picture.

In the end, the only one you're kidding is you.

"Why do you call me 'Lord, Lord' but don't do the things I say?" Luke 6:47

LIVING IN A TENT

 

For the record, I have avoided sleeping in a tent for over six decades - and I hope to keep that record intact for as long as I live. I don't do camping.  You ask me, "How do you know you won't like camping if you've never gone?"  

I just do. OK?  Case closed.

Whether you love camping or not, the one thing about living in a tent that we intrinsically understand is that living in a tent is a temporary thing. A tent is unable to weather a storm, protect us from predators, keep us warm when it's cold or keep us cool when it is scorching outside.  It takes a great deal more effort to survive if you are living in a tent.  

No one EXPECTS a tent to be a substitute for a permanent HOME.  

Except us.

This life we are living is being lived in a temporary tent. It's not the existence God created for humans.  Living in this earthly tent makes it difficult to weather a storm, to be protected from the predators in this life. God has a permanent and peaceful existence for us that is not a camping trip, but an eternity in the place He has prepared for me.

Remember when life is difficult, you're just living in a tent.

Look at life truthfully.  Everything about it is as flimsy as a tent.

Don't cling to the tent when it's time to go home.

"For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies.While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life."

2 Corinthians 5:1-4

  

WANTED: NAKED PEOPLE

They saw the truth right after they believed The Lie. They were naked, afraid and hiding from the Creator they had disobeyed. Most have heard the story of the serpent tempting Eve, but not all of us understand that the temptation was not about a woman eating a piece of fruit, but about tempting her to change her opinion of the God who had provided it. The serpent got her to believe that her loving Father was keeping something good and pleasing from her. He hasn’t changed his tactics since then. Before she changed her mind about the fruit on the tree, she changed her mind about the One who created it.  The One who provided it.  Believing the Lie brought fear, and shame and Death and nakedness and hiding. They were not created to be afraid and feel shame. 

 How does God deal with naked and ashamed and hiding people?

            He looks for them.  

He calls out to them, “Where are you?” He says.  

He knew exactly where they were and why they were there.  And the answer He got is the same answer so many of us continue to give Him, “I was afraid of You because I was naked; so I hid.”  (Genesis 3:10). We reach a point where our weakness is exposed, where our sin is out in the open.  So we hide. We feel shame.  God knew where they were, but they needed to stop hiding. To face God. 

We don’t understand that being exposed in our sinfulness is the first step toward being healed. 

We don't understand the joy that comes from making things right with God - until we make things right with God.

God didn’t say, “Oh, don’t worry about it.  It was just a piece of fruit.” Oh, no, we paid a high price for thinking we know better than God.  We still do. We were not supposed to die. Now, we do.

            What does God do with naked people?   
 He covers their nakedness:  
 “The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them.” (Genesis 3:21).  

He doesn’t say, “Well , just live with your shameful self.”  He loves us. He calls to us. He wants us, sinful nakedness and all.  Rebellion and all. He keeps looking. He keeps calling. He keeps wanting us. Again.

            Jesus was faced with the reality of naked shamefulness when the religious Pharisees and teachers of the Law brought a woman before Him who was “caught in the act of adultery” before Him. (John 8:4). He was sitting in front of the Temple, teaching people about His Father, and they dragged her in front of Him and the people gathered around Him. She couldn’t hide anymore.  She was humiliated and exposed. But being exposed was her salvation. She came out of where she was hiding and found forgiveness, “Neither do I condemn you.  Go now and leave your life of sin.” (John 8:11). Pharisees enjoy exposing sin.  Jesus came to cover it.

            Jesus Himself was faced with the reality of naked shamefulness on the day He willingly allowed Himself to die naked on a Cross.  

He was mocked and ridiculed and laughed at.  Humiliated before all of creation. His Father turned away.  He was exposed so that when we are, God can, once again, cover us in the perfection of His Son. We will be exposed. Every one of us.  The important point is where we are exposed:  Here? or There?  

While we are still here -whatever we’ve done can be forgiven. Whatever we’ve destroyed can be resurrected.  Whatever shame we feel can be erased. Being exposed is our salvation. Whatever we’ve done can be undone. 

All we have to do is come out of hiding.  

“Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable. So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe.”  (Hebrews 4:13-14)

BUT IF YOU DO HAVE SOMETHING GOOD TO SAY, SAY IT

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"If you don't have something good to say, then don't say anything" - is a wise statement that no one on the planet seems to be following anymore.  I don't need to point out how vitriolic our society has become. Hate, hate, hate and more hate spewing from hateful, angry hearts. 
So I would like to suggest an alternative.

If you do have something good to say, SAY IT!

I would like to borrow from another famous wise saying and remind us all that:

The only thing necessary for evil speech to triumph is for good speech to remain silent.

I'm not talking about giving a speech at the U.N., because, let's face it, most of us don't have access to the main podium of the U.N. 

I am talking about opening your mouth and actually saying good and encouraging words to the people around you. 

OPEN. YOUR. MOUTH. 

This last week I was able to spend time with two long-time friends.  These women love me and I love them. One of them that I hadn't seen in years said to me, "You look good. Your hair looks great." That's it.  It made my sixty-something self feel hope that my "Quasimodo - Hunchback of Notre Dame Look" is still far in the future.

The other friend remarked that a blog I write about family and marriage is a collection of blogs she has never deleted from her email account.

Today, I wrote this blog.  Her words encouraged me.

Too many of us - jealously? competition? resentment? insecurity? - don't take the time to simply say something good to someone else.  Why? How difficult is it to acknowledge that someone did something good for you, or said something wise to you, or helped you during a dark period in your life?  Would you die if you told a friend she looked good, or does something well?

It's not a mouth thing - it's a heart thing. Jesus said that we speak what's in our hearts. You cannot compliment a woman you are jealous of, or a brother you are angry at, or a husband you do not forgive.

This tragedy of silence is also a good tool of satan to keep us from spreading the GOOD NEWS.

The Gospel is GOOD NEWS.  We don't have to be Bible scholars to be able to say, "No matter what you've done, no matter what you're struggling with, no matter how angry you are at the world and everyone in it - JESUS LOVES YOU."

WE ARE NOT CALLED TO TELL THE WORLD HOW EVIL THEY ARE.  

We are called to tell the world how LOVED they are.

We are called to remind them that while they (and we) were disgusting sinners separated from a holy, loving Father - Christ died for us. 

WOWOW.  GOOD NEWS. GREAT NEWS.

THIS IS GOOD NEWS.  We have something good to say - but we aren't saying it.

AND.. FINALLY... 

open your mouth to tell about the things God has done for you and in you and through you.

You are not called to remain silent.

You have something good to say.

SAY IT.

Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story— those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,

Psalm 107:2

I CHOOSE TO NOT IDENTIFY AS A WRETCH

"Amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me."

I don't like thinking of myself as a wretch - a wretch who requires  being saved.  Who me?  A wretch?  How can that be helpful to my self-esteem?

Lately I've seen a pattern of people deciding what they "identify" as.
When we don't like what and who we are in our basic form, we have learned to reject it.  We don't allow ourselves to assume that identity.

So what if I decide to choose to not identify as a "wretch" - I could. 

I would prefer to identify myself as a basically nice person who has some less-than-stellar secret weaknesses.  I could identify as a nice but slightly weak person.

Or how about I identify as a good person?  I could identify as a good person -  most of the time.

I could choose to not identify as a wretched sinner.

Except.

I am one.

As long as I don't really understand - or refuse to accept and acknowledge - how wretchedly UNHOLY I am before a HOLY GOD... as long as I don't acknowledge that in my natural state I am inclined to UNHOLINESS and SIN  - and -  that although God is longsuffering I should not interpret His longsuffering as His compromise or overlooking me and my wretched unholiness.

When I identify as the wretch I am -I discover the amazing truth - 

God loves wretches, Jesus came to be a wretch in my place.

And even after I choose to follow Jesus, I continue to battle the wretch inside who is screaming to be allowed to walk in wretched anger, lust, jealousy, unforgiveness, pride, idolatry and gossip.

My identity now?

A righteous wretch.

God declares me righteous because I humbled myself before Him and admitted I am a wretch.

And God poured His accepting love in to a wretch like me.
And turned a wretch like me in to -
A priest in the Holy Kingdom of The Holy God.
Daughter of the Ancient of Days.
A soldier in the Army of The Lord
Perfect.
Loved.
Accepted.

A gift.
Amazing.
Grace.
Given to wretches.
Only to wretches. 

REQUIEM FOR THE CAMEL

The straw that broke the camel's back

Wasn't heavy I suppose 

And to be a broken back-ed camel 

Wasn't something that he chose

To carry someone else's burden 

Is it why he was created?

To live his life for someone else

And to give as need dictated?

Day by day he did his best

This simple beast of burden

Until the burden broke his heart

But no one saw him hurtin'

The straw that broke the camel's back

Wasn't heavy I suppose.

And to be a broken back-ed camel

Isn't something that he chose.

(© 1999 Marie Armenia)

A camel with a broken back is a camel about to starve to death and die. The camel's back humps keep him alive in the desert. It is filled with fat (not water) and when food is scarce, he feeds off this hidden supply.  

The straw that broke the camel's back was the last straw for the camel.  We know what it mean's when someone reaches their last straw.  They are done. Finished. Unable to go on. 

How do people react to a camel who's reached his last straw?

They wonder, "Why now? Why today?" 

The camel had been carrying the straw without complaint or problems for a while. People assumed the load was not too heavy because the camel consistently carried it - day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year.  

And then, badda boom badda bing - his back breaks??? 
What's up with that?

"Why didn't you say something?" they ask the camel.
The camel is too exhausted to answer or explain. 
"Why didn't you notice?" is what he is too tired to say. 

For a minute or two, people feel bad for the camel and the obvious pain he is in.  It doesn't take long, however, for their thoughts to turn to the fact that now they might have to carry their own straw.   Their concern FOR the camel quickly morphs into concern for themselves.

"Who's going to carry the straw the camel has been carrying for me every day for as long as I can remember?" 
They get kind of peeved at the camel for having limits.

The world is filled with camel users.

They have no clue what I'm talking about, or why I'm writing about camels who couldn't carry their burden for even one more day.

But I think that every single mom, working mom, widow reading this understands completely.

I think every overworked and underappreciated pastor comprehends fully that devoted backs can only take so much burden and complaining before something inside them breaks - no matter how much they love the Lord and His people.

The parents whose rebellious child has no concern for anything but getting his own way know what it feels like to be convinced the Lord HAS given them more than they can bear.

Sometimes, like the camel.. and without warning, we wake up one day, and - 

WE. HAVE. HAD. ENOUGH.

And we lay down and wait to die under the weight of what we used to be able to carry without a problem.

Dear exhausted one..Jesus cares about your tired soul. 

You don't have to lay down and die, but rise up and live with His help and power.

"Come to Me, all you who are burdened and heavy laden and I WILL GIVE YOU REST." 

He carries your burden.
FOR YOU
and
WITH YOU

He promises.
He will.
He does.
He has.

The straw that didn't break the camel's back is the straw He asked Jesus to carry,

Jesus will come to you and help you carry that burden. 
Today.
Tomorrow.
Forever.

People are not faithful, but Jesus is.

Cast all your care on him: for he careth for you.

1 PETER 5:7

I AM NOT GOD

I am not God.
Sometimes I act like I think I am.
When problems come because of people,
I assume I am right and they are wrong.
But only God is always right.
And
I am not God.

I am not God.
He doesn't keep a list of my mistakes.
Or the many awful sins I have asked Him to forgive.
And yet - if I were honest - 
I still have lists with names of people who have hurt me.
Thinking I'm entitled to.
But Holy God, who has the right to hold my sin against me, has mercy on my broken, humble heart.
And when my mercy and compassion reach a limit,
and I will not forgive those who ask me to 
The Holy Spirit rushes in and He reminds me
Only God can hold someone's sins against them, 
And I remember, once again,
I am not God.


And neither are you.

 “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 

God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him."

John 3:16-17

AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU

Have you ever been tempted to say those words to someone?  I'm not proud to admit that I have.  Unfortunately, the fact that I am thinking that thought is not an indictment against those "takers" in my life, but an indication that perhaps my giving isn't flowing from God's love compelling me. 

BASIC CHRISTIANITY - If you expect to GET something because you have GIVEN something, it isn't truly giving. It's a type of relationship bartering... or something like that.  If you have a mental ledger of what you've done for someone, you need to erase that ledger.

Is it easy to do? NO WAY.  
Is it what I am called to do?
ALL THE WAY.

Have you ever "been there" for someone in a real way when they needed someone to be there for them?  I mean, in a deeply committed way? During a trial, or a job loss, or a sickness, or divorce?  Encouraging them? Providing for them with your own resources? Giving up YOUR time? And then... when the crisis fades.. and the shoe is on the other foot.. and YOU need them to do the same thing for you.. they are nowhere to be found? You might think to yourself, "After all I've done for you..." We should do what we do for others for the glory of the Lord.  Because HIS LOVE IN US makes it impossible to not lay down our lives for those in need. 
Is it easy?
No way.

How about your children? (Let me say that my son is not who or what I am referring to). You sacrifice.  You give so that they have, even if it means you don't have. You don't ever make them feel guilty about what you have done without - so that they didn't do without. You love them and only want the best for them.  And then... when they get out on their own...they disappear from your life. They find fault, but not gratitude.  And you are tempted to say, "After all I've done for you......" but your Heavenly Father explains to you that they belonged to HIM the whole time - and He will reward you for your faithfulness to HIM whether your children do.. or not.  
Is it easy?
No way.

How about your spouse?  I can't. I can't even take the ENORMOUS space here to remind you that if you are keeping a list of what you've done for your spouse.. EXPECTING to be fully repaid.. well... you need more help than this blog can offer today.. 

How about your Church? You work hard, you sacrifice your time, your resources, your gifts.  You love and support the pastor and his "vision." You give and give and give.  You give up doing other things, being other places just to be there and help. You do it freely... And then, when you are in need... and you could use a little love and attention from the church you gave everything to... you can't get past the church secretary and speak to your pastor. He never calls you, and neither does anyone in church...
And you're tempted to say, "After all I've done for you......"

How about the Pastor?
Being a pastor is - in its purest form - being a spiritual parent to a bunch of non-compliant children. (I am NOT referring to a political pastor who is there for his own glory. A hireling who cares about himself and his own reputation.. God help him.) 
I mean a true shepherd - one who truly cares about the sheep - and lays down his life for the people in the pews.  And often, sadly, all they do is complain about his lack of - so many things  He might be tempted to think, "After all I've done for you".... 
He doesn't say those words. 
Is it easy?
No way.

Today..if you are someone who is dealing with someone you think deserves to hear you say, 

"After all I've done for you"... 

Turn the focus on the fact that you think you should be rewarded HERE by THEM instead of being rewarded THERE by GOD.

God is keeping score.
You don't have to.
God sees WHY we do WHAT we do.

Jesus never puts the heavy burden of guilt on us by saying "After all I've done for you"  when we fail Him.
He willingly gave His life. 
He willingly shares His victories with us,
He shares His eternal inheritance with us.

After all He's done for us, we follow His example and give expecting NOTHING in return... 
Is it easy?
No way.
Does He give the Holy Spirit to help us?
In EVERY WAY.

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? 

Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful."

Luke 6:32-36